Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Obama War Room: My Site
Has Fallen and It Can't Get Up

OBAMA: Who’re they?

KATHLEEN SEBELIUS: Jennifer and Buffy, sir. Just came in yesterday with an IT team from Santa Clara. They’ll troubleshoot billing transactions and premium calculations on the back end.

JENNIFER: Omygawd! I can’t believe, like, I’m talking to the president! The job’s a beatch, sir, way bad, but we are so like totally turned on by the challenge. Right, Buff?

BUFFY: Well, duh, gag me with a spoon--we didn’t come like 3000 miles to play games. Start tomorrow, though. Jen. I’m gonna barf if I don’t get to a mall today.

OBAMA: What . . .?

SEBELIUS: They work for Silicon ValleyGirls, Inc., a new tech startup by Sean Penn’s group, Spicoli Enterprises. [whispers] I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel, sir. 

: Like, we are so screwed.

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