Monday, November 21, 2016

Media War Room: Trick or Tweet

WASHPOST: We gotta drop the "Transition in Disarray" meme.  Pence is moving things along like nobody's business.  Other tacks?

NPR: Trump's a compulsive, impulsive Tweeter.  Let's put stories out there that provoke him to shoot from the hip before Bannon can stop him.

NYTIMES: Works for us. Tomorrow, we'll flip from the bungled transition to an above-the-fold piece titled, "Rush to Choose Cabinet May Come Back to Haunt Trump."

WASHPOST: Good!  His head will explode.  Our people will stir the pot with: "Experts Urge Trump to Give His Wealth to the Poor."

CBS: Hmm.  We’ll have Bill Plante push the story along on CBS Evening News one night this week.  How’s this: "Rift Developing Between President-elect, Ivanka over Disposition of Trump Billions." He'll cite an anonymous source close to the family.

: Who . . . ?

CBS: [winks] Plante's brother-in-law.  He's close to Bill's family.

CNN: Nice.  Now, we all know David Brock here.  George Soros has assigned him to assist our campaign of disinformation and provocation.

David, glad you're on the team.  You have an initiative to propose?

BROCK: I do. [passes out prints] A professionally photoshopped picture of Trump, Putin, and a donkey in a mé·nage à trois.

CNN: Ah, none of us can use . . .

BROCK: I know.  The boss's influence will get it into a tabloid.  When Trump sees it, he'll spark a Twitterstorm.  Then it’s big news and, however obliquely, you'll have to cover it.

CNN: Um, thank you, David.  We'll discuss your proposal and get back to you.

[exit Brock]

Jeez, they said he was loopy, but . . .

ABC: The Big Man doesn't like criticism of the people he’s been interviewing.  We'll resurrect a Romney slander, reporting the rumor that Romney flew to New York with his dog in the plane's wheel well.

NBC: Where did you hear this?

ABC: Nowhere.  I just said it. That's how rumors start.

NBC: We're targeting Sessions.  Friday, we'll run a piece on a researcher from Yale who claims he's discovered the genetic marker for racism. We've alerted Schumer. He'll demand Sessions undergo genome sequencing to rule out he's a carrier.  Trump will go crazy.

NPR: OK, a fine start.  Now, everyone join hands. Let's remember what we're about here: salvaging our tattered reputations as movers and shakers by bringing down this president.
  Our motto: The people have spoken and we don't care.

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