Brian said the POTUS lied, back when he needed us to believe.
Then when Scott Pelley spoke the truth, and Sawyer gave him grief,
A rising tide of anger was directed at the Chief.
Clung to the wreck, which beached itself upon a hostile shore.
These cried, please g-d, let Bambi put away his clubs and fight -
We’d do whatever’s asked of us, if Choomer put things right.
Instead, Jay stood in for Sparky, and later, Pfieffer, Dan.
The Carneyman lacked mojo while the toady kicked the can.
And among the fearful Democrats, bleak desperation ruled,
For voters posed hard questions and the answers no one fooled.
The Sun King was not worried, not this paragon of cool --
Off to Megyn’s sent Rahm’s brother to take the girl to school.
But when her show was over and the poll results came in,
Why, Zippy had dropped to 40, and OCare didn’t spin.
Then from Bam’s D. C. choir came the sound of octave screech;
It jacked-up through lib precincts, from the mountains to the beach.
Most Dem rank and file (even the fever swamper base)
Begged Barry the Lightbringer to articulate his case.
So Urkel held a presser, and the bleeding tried to staunch;
Sought to redirect attention from OCare’s troubled launch.
But oh, he rambled wildly, and his rationales were lame.
And though he said it was on him, he tried to shift the blame.
The crust was gone from Skippy’s mien, he stuttered when he spoke;
He darted looks around the room and tried to bum a smoke.
And when he scurried from the dais, done taking his at bat,
Well, there was no glee at Harvard: puffed-up Bamster just went splat!
Offered previously:
Not everyone’s cup of tea, the parody poem is an odd bird in the satire aviary. Its success depends in some measure on readers’ familiarity with the original work. (Read "Casey at the Bat" here.)
There’s no "right" way to compose these things. I try to get close to the original’s rhythm by using the same number of syllables in each line and duplicating the rhyme scheme. I don’t slavishly mimic the poem’s basic meter (pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables).
