JOHN
KERRY: Trouble, sir. The Security Council has voted to support
Syria’s resolution that a U.N. weapons inspection team be allowed aboard our
ships in the Eastern Med.
OBAMA: What? Why . . . ?
KERRY: Assad said he had hard intelligence that we were planning to use KWMD against his forces.
OBAMA: KWMD?
KERRY: Kinetic Weapons of Mass Destruction. The resolution passed 4-0. Even France and the UK folded.
OBAMA: Why didn’t Ambassador Power veto the . . . ?
KERRY: She was having her hair done when they took the vote, sir. And it gets worse.
OBAMA: Worse?
KERRY: The team inspecting our ships is headed by Mosen Baraz, head of Iran’s "Project to Employ Nuclear Energy for Peaceful Purposes Ha Ha Ha."
OBAMA: “Ha Ha Ha”?
KERRY: Iran’s not even trying to hide its intentions any more, sir.
OBAMA: Anything else?
KERRY: I’m afraid so. Yesterday, Senator Reid received a ten million signature petition demanding that an attack against Syria be the subject of a national referendum. In a rare moment of comity, he and Speaker Boehner agreed to support the measure and establish a time-frame. They’re talking November.
OBAMA: November? Well, that’s not too . . .
KERRY: November 2014, sir. Takes a while to set those things up.
OBAMA: All right. Agree. What choice do I have? Go out and make some boilerplate statement about the wisdom of having 200 million Americans weigh in on the matter, that we’re taking the high road in order to . . .
KERRY: Assad, Kim-Young-un, the Ayatollahs—they’ll laugh themselves silly at our paralysis, sir.
OBAMA: We counter it. Put out this statement in my name: "President Obama reserves the right to strike Syria at any time before the referendum in 2014 Ha Ha Ha."
OBAMA: What? Why . . . ?
KERRY: Assad said he had hard intelligence that we were planning to use KWMD against his forces.
OBAMA: KWMD?
KERRY: Kinetic Weapons of Mass Destruction. The resolution passed 4-0. Even France and the UK folded.
OBAMA: Why didn’t Ambassador Power veto the . . . ?
KERRY: She was having her hair done when they took the vote, sir. And it gets worse.
OBAMA: Worse?
KERRY: The team inspecting our ships is headed by Mosen Baraz, head of Iran’s "Project to Employ Nuclear Energy for Peaceful Purposes Ha Ha Ha."
OBAMA: “Ha Ha Ha”?
KERRY: Iran’s not even trying to hide its intentions any more, sir.
OBAMA: Anything else?
KERRY: I’m afraid so. Yesterday, Senator Reid received a ten million signature petition demanding that an attack against Syria be the subject of a national referendum. In a rare moment of comity, he and Speaker Boehner agreed to support the measure and establish a time-frame. They’re talking November.
OBAMA: November? Well, that’s not too . . .
KERRY: November 2014, sir. Takes a while to set those things up.
OBAMA: All right. Agree. What choice do I have? Go out and make some boilerplate statement about the wisdom of having 200 million Americans weigh in on the matter, that we’re taking the high road in order to . . .
KERRY: Assad, Kim-Young-un, the Ayatollahs—they’ll laugh themselves silly at our paralysis, sir.
OBAMA: We counter it. Put out this statement in my name: "President Obama reserves the right to strike Syria at any time before the referendum in 2014 Ha Ha Ha."
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