BARACK OBAMA: Okay, there’s time to turn this around, Joe. The Dem brand is eroding but we still have the Squad and most of the Muslims, the generation ship welfarers, dead urban Democrats, feminists, the Greens, the LGBTQIA crowd, academe and their spawn, our media familiars, the Mediscared, Jews who’ll stay with us no matter what, pro choicers, enfranchised illegals, Antifa, and drug cartel members with dual citizenship.
DAVID AXELROD: Not enough, sir. We need another bloc to put us over the top.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Hey, you forgot “sucker moms,” Barack!
OBAMA: We’ve lost that demographic, Joe.
BIDEN: Not ‘’Soccer Moms”: ‘’Sucker Moms.’’ Single women who thought the boyfriend would stay around soon’s he found out there was a bâtard in the oven. Millions of 'em in swing states.
OBAMA: And you’re proposing?
BIDEN: I declare marital law—or is it ‘’common-law’’? Whatever. The Joint Chiefs issue a directive defining ‘’deserter’’ as any civilian male AWOL from his family unit. MPs are dispatched to find them and return rhem, wearing ankle bracelets, to their women
OBAMA: That’s good, Joe.
BIDEN: Also, I'll direct Homeland Security to transfer to Washington personnel who are busy ignoring human trafficking on the border. They’d team with FBI agents to track down deadbeat dads and make them pay.
OBAMA: You're cookin, my man.
BIDEN: To top it off, I'll find language in ObamaCare guaranteeing 24/7 Supernanny coverage, contingent on my reelection.
JILL BIDEN: I’d add no-cost tubal ligation. Insurance companies would be free to reject offering these benefits at their peril.
OBAMA: Women’s vote—check.
BIDEN: Less than a year before the vote. Can we keep a lid until then on the Iranians sinking the USS Eisenhower in the Strait of Hormel yesterday?
KJP: You mean the Strait of Hormuz, Mr. President. Hormel is an American company that makes Spam.
BIDEN: What are they doing in the Strait?
JILL BIDEN: Time for your nap, Joe.
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